Dealing with Anger

Do you have a problem with anger? Does your tongue sometimes get the best of you? Anger and evil speech go hand in hand. Learn to deal with your anger so that your speech may not betray you.

“Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter? Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh. Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom. But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.” – James 3:5-16

As we see from the above passage, the tongue of mankind can produce speech which can cause a multitude of problems! Be mindful of the words which come out of your mouth.  Consider your thoughts before you speak; your words can cause pain that may last a lifetime.

David said, "Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips." - Psalm 141:3

Paul said, “Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.” – Colossians 4:6

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” – Ephesians 4:29

“But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.” – Colossians 3:8

Solomon had much to say about anger:

“He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.” – Proverbs 25:28

This proverb compares a man who has no self-control over his anger, as a city that is without walls. In Biblical times, the key to a city’s security was to have strong walls. A city with broken walls has clearly been defeated, disgraced, and left vulnerable to further attack. A person could possibly be in the right over a circumstance or not at fault, but once they lose their temper and/or administer foul language, it puts them in the wrong! If you can’t control your anger, it means Satan is in control of your life at this moment!

An individual with uncontrolled anger is probably not a person you want to be closely associated with. Angry folks are being controlled by their emotions which can cause problems and pain during a moment of heat.

“He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly: and a man of wicked devices is hated.” - Proverbs 14:17

One tactic to help counteract an angry individual is to speak in a calm manner and talk softly to diffuse the situation. Obviously, raising your voice with an already loud argument will only add to the clamor.

“A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” - Proverbs 15:1

Self-control is a great skill to master, and God will honor this. The fruit of the Spirit can provide this skill to the believer in Christ who yields over to Him (Gal. 5:22-23).

“He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.” - Proverbs 16:32

“The discretion (common sense) of a man deferreth (puts off) his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.” - Proverbs 19:11

It is wise to remove yourself from angry people because dwelling in their presence will most likely lead to chaos, trouble, difficulty, and/or distress.

“Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:” - Proverbs 22:24

“An angry man stirreth up strife, and a furious man aboundeth in transgression (meaning this person has many problems).” - Proverbs 29:22

“Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.” - Ecclesiastes 7:9

A final solution and probably the most significant is to counteract anger with showing love to one another.

“Charity (Love) suffereth long (is patient), and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not (doesn’t boast) itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth…” - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8